cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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