well I can't set my house on fire every night
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize