Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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