hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
