Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
