worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize