you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
