I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize