Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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