Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize