there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
