I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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