My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
FUCK WHALES
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
