The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
