Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
