I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
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We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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