the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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