I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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