Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I FOUND THE LEGS
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
