You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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