Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
