he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Your cock deserves a montage
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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