It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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