I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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