Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize