Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
