Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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