Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
