I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
