Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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