ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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