O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i think my cat just said my name.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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