can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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