I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
