If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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