you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
