i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
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I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
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I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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