as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
