Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
