i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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