I just threw up on my dentist
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
