Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Someone shit on the floor
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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