i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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