My first STD was from a foam party
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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