Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
