she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
