we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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