Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
