I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
