woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
