He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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