Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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