really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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