I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
