I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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