do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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