I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
