Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
