it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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