Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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