dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize