no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
