I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
