i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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