He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
