I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
